When I started college, I wanted to become a family/marital therapist. As a good listener and someone who has always been fascinated by the concept of love I thought that could be the best career choice for me. I took some courses that were part of the Psychology curricula that followed this path, and my internal hoarder happened to save some of the handouts on the topic of ‘love’.
While doing some cleaning, I found this piece and thought that I should share with our readers, since it made quite an impression on me back then.
Love or Infatuation?
Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.
Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and places about your beloved you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.
Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. you want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says, “we must get married right away! I can’t’ risk losing you!”
Love says, “Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence”.
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another’s company unless you are sure it will end- in intimacy.
Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.
Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person.
– Source unknown
I know a lot of girls who suffered for years thinking they had to endure pain while fighting for the ‘love of their lives’…. only to end up realizing that they are worth much more and finding someone who makes them truly happy to spend their lives with as a partner.
I used to think that feeling infatuated was real love. I craved the roller coaster of emotions that come with it, the intensity of the relationship, and I am glad I was able to experiment it, only to now understand and recognize how real love makes me feel: peaceful, excited, happy, and complete.