It is hard not to panic when you realize you were supposed to have it all figured out by now and well…you don’t. And that is the biggest problem: having this idea in our head of how things are supposed to be. “What have I done with my life?” I’m not married, I don’t own a house, and I don’t have children or a six figure job. And yet, when I look back, I am so different from the girl I was when I moved to the United States at 18…“cada día más humana, menos perfecta y más feliz“.
The other day I found an album I made as a project during my college Art class. Ms. Martina Hesser, an Austrian art historian with the most amazing stories, asked us to express and capture our achievable goals with pictures. Opening that album after 7 years was like opening a little door to my younger heart. The images represented me graduating from an American university, traveling the world, finding inner-peace. It may seem simple dreams to some of you but if there is something I’ve learned with age is to never judge someone else’s path as our circumstances, our past and the baggage we carry mark our pace.
So that’s what I’ve been doing with my life, chasing what I wanted the most but I didn’t notice. To me, it all felt like a roller-coaster. I messed up, oh how I messed up! and at almost 29 I get a little lost sometimes. Why am I noticing now? “Perhaps it’s the return of Saturn. Every twenty-nine years the planet returns to the same point in the sky that it occupied at the moment of our birth.”
-The return of Saturn? – (from the book Adultery by Paulo Coelho)
Coincidently I read this passage a few months ago and it got my attention (and no I am not into any type of fortune-telling, clairvoyance activities) but in astrological terms and according to my google search (so don’t quote me on anything I’m writing here) the “return of Saturn” is the amount of time it takes the planet to orbit once around the Sun, approximately 29 years, which coincides in returning to the same place in the sky that the planet occupied at the moment of your birth #mindblown. Astrologers believe that, as Saturn “returns”, a person enters the next stage of life. With the first return, we leave youth behind and enter adulthood. With the second return, maturity. And with the third and usually final return, a person enters wise old age.
It takes 29. They say that this is the time when we experience a great change or make important decisions that impact and alter our life forever. So rather than panicking about being only a year closer to the third level, I will focus on my new dreams and goals. I am getting excited about what this year will bring for me…career moves, fun trips, new friends, maybe love? ❤
So if you ever get anxious because things are not happening to you the way they are supposed to be, I ask: would it be any different otherwise? because if you can´t appreciate and be happy with what you have right now, what makes you think the things you are chasing will make you any happier?
P.S. Relax. It takes 29.